Life in a Nutshell

Wesley I have finally settled in Springdale after graduating this past May. Both of us walked together in May. I technically graduated in December. I remember thinking/dreaming about what life would be like after school. We would have so much time and money and fun together, you know, without homework! Boy was I wrong. God has graciously walked a very hard past year alongside me. He has taught me about expectations and how they need to be first rooted in Him, the one who fulfills us, sustains us and gives all good things. He has taught me about my stubbornness and self-reliance and my deep, deep need for Him. We left Arkadelphia in the Spring and lived with some sweet friends over the summer. I was restless all summer, just waiting to finally be settled, nestled in a home, "our home". I planned and planned how that would look and even when it "would/should" happen. I sure did have it all figured out. See the problem with all of this was that it was my plans, not the Lord's and I had not taken a break long enough from my agenda to ask Him, to seek Him. Wessie and I had decided that we were going to buy a house, we had saved and planned, it would be perfect... All summer we spent all of our days off looking at houses, we even put in offers. We put in five offers to be exact on five different houses and for one reason or another all were rejected. Finally, on the sixth house we were accepted. It was a short sale so the process looked a little different and took a lot longer. Two months after our initial acceptance we were okayed to schedule an inspection. I was so excited and dreamt about what like would be like in our cute little home, with our cute little yard. Boy did I dream. But pray, I did not. I wanted it so bad, I didn't want the Lord to say no. But, He did. Our inspection came back and what had seemed like the perfect fixer upper was a perfect disaster! The home was in much worse condition than we had thought and there was no way we could afford the damage that was done in the home. And being a short sale the bank was not willing to fix any of it. So we were crushed and confused and angry and broken. We were left reflecting, "isn't this what the Lord had wanted?" I mean we would be saving so much more money buying than renting, we had the money to do it, our children would be stable and secure. And me, I would have my dream home! How could God not honor that. It was good. It was good, but it wasn't best. God knows me so well and He is so gracious and kind, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. I know this well. His plans were different and I had not once asked Him what those plans might be. We met a sweet little man who is letting us rent his home just one mile from Wessie's work, for $500 a month, just a little more than our mortgage would have been. This is the Lord's provision for us. He has placed us in a neighborhood full of kids who go to camp where Wessie works. And he has allowed us to serve out of this small, awkward shaped home. He is known here and that is what matters. When I stopped to ask and really listen, God spoke over me what had been the problem the last 5 months "You are leading and have not allowed me to do so". I had taken control. It hit me like a ton of bricks, how could I not have seen it. It was so obvious! I had taken my plans and made them God's. I had made my path and my path was not for my best. My path had earthly treasures at it's heart. God's path as always had eternal purposes at it's heart. We live in a neighborhood that needs to know Him. This is our ministry, this is our purpose and this is what we would have missed. We are exiles on this earth. This is not our home, but we long for what is to come, it will be better! But while we are here we are called to give of ourselves: our desires, our expectations, our time, our finances, our talents, our lives! They are not ours, but our Kings! So let's serve Him as His hands and feet to a world that desperately needs Him! Our front porch is one of our favorite places to be in our house. We get to see several families who surround us. Esther loves blowing bubbles and playing with chalk. Judah and I love to watch. So here are a couple pictures from our porch.